


Abraham vs. Technology

by redlionspride



Category: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Seth Grahame-Smith
Genre: Current era, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 00:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlionspride/pseuds/redlionspride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abraham loves a fast car and the advances the world is making but he doesn't get along well with technology. Of course Henry returns home with a bag full of them, as well as a slight surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abraham vs. Technology

**Author's Note:**

> This was done with no Beta testing or editing at all, because I am a lazy creature and worry that if i edit it I will realize how bad it is and not post it. Might go back and edit it later! Hope you enjoy. <3

The thing about being a vampire is that you never age. You grow, yes, but not physically. Mentally there is nowhere else to go but out, absorbing things that come here and there. As the eras grown older the technology grows stronger and more complex. At first it was simply a telephone but then it turned into a portable telephone, which moved to having a phone IN your car, or cell phones and smart phones and…

Well Abraham was pretty sure that most the new phones out today were miniature computers parading about as a phone and purposely trying to trip him up. Once he got used to how one worked it seemed like it was time to trade it in for a newer and better model. 

Henry insisted they both kept at least one phone on each other’s person, just to make it easier to keep in contact if they got separated or if Henry had business to attend to. As much as Abraham wouldn’t want to admit it, he did _like_ having an almost instant line of contact with the other man; but did it have to be so complex? 

When Henry returned from another shopping adventure he dropped a bag beside the couch Abe was sprawled out on his back. Barely giving the bag a second glance he groaned, trying to ignore it for the accursed laptop he had balanced on the insides of his thighs, bent up and slumped over on the couch so the keyboard rested on his belly and the screen tilted down so he could see. His head was propped up by a small lap pillow, all the better to see things by. His feet were arched over the arm of the couch at the other end. The most awkward position the tall man could possibly find, and it was his. “Welcome back.” He said distractedly as he tried to make his laptop do something it wasn’t programed to do (and wondered why it wasn’t working). 

“I come bearing gifts, my dear Abraham. Shut down a moment and have a look.” Henry moved to the end of the couch that Abraham’s head was rested in, pulling the pillow from under his head, sliding in to take a seat, and letting Abe resituate his head on Henry’s leg (after some mild grumbling about having been disturbed in the first place). 

“I see you’ve been to an electronics store again. This is never good news.” Abe grumbled, ignoring the fact that he should shut down as he was glaring off at the screen, still trying to make it do what he wanted. “You always return with things to make life easier; once you learn how to make the device work.” His bare feet were on the arm of the couch, long toes bent over the edge, mindlessly flexing and moving, the power cord to his laptop wrapped between a few digits, pulling on it. Unknown to him he had already accidently unplugged the device from the wall ages ago and had recently began ignoring the warnings, far too concentrated on what he was working on. 

“Ah, yes, but you’ve been wanting at least one of these devices, I assure you.” Henry was jostling Abe’s head (making Abraham grunt a bit childlike as his world was disturbed again) while bending forward to dig out a small black device. He had already taken it out of the box, charged it and used it on the way home, for the fun of it. There was no point in having a GPS, other than to have one. So what better reason did they need? Henry did, after all, love little devices. 

He held it above Abe’s head, to show it to him, as Abraham wasn’t really paying attention. “To help you find your way when you are lost on the road.” 

“That’s what maps are for.” Abe muttered, eyes looking up at the GPS device. He stared at it a moment and… frowned out of spite and pure stubborn. “I can find my way around pretty well as it is. I know how to read road signs.” 

Henry just chuckled and sat the device in his lap, his hand coming down to pet though the other man’s hair fondly. “I see I have disturbed you in matters most important. What _ever_ are you trying to accomplish in a position like this anyhow?” 

“You know it doesn’t matter how one sits when using these confounded things.” He hissed out, getting a beep from the computer again. “I was writing.” 

“It doesn’t look like you are writing now, however. It looks like you are fighting with the program.” 

“If I were fighting it the entire thing would he lodged in the wall over there” he pointed to the left far wall. “…and over there.” He pointed to the right wall nearest to them. “In no less than two pieces. I’m sure my axe would be dead center in that wall down there. No, this is not fighting. This is struggling not to fight.”

And then the power went out. He blinked, watching the screen go into shut down mode. His hands gripped either side of the laptop, feeling for the power cord swiftly, finding it plugged in. “ _God!_ —Bless America…” he bit off, cutting the ‘damn’ out of his words and making it somewhat a mildly amusing and softer curse. Abraham still wasn’t much of a curser. He ran a hand down the power cord, feeling the tug at his toes. Lifting the laptop up to look under and past it through his legs (he could feel Henry’s body lean to look under as well) he saw his toes curled around the power cord, at the end of the couch. Lifting his feet he started to pull the cord up a bit more. It was loose. 

Closing the laptop he sat up, groaned, reached down and pulled the power cord up, leaning over the arm of the couch like a child who didn’t understand why his toy stopped. Only, he DID understand. He just hated it for it. Reaching back he plugged the device back in, sat up proper, let out a deep sigh and… slumped. He shifted in the seat, bare feet crossed under him, on the couch. Leaning forward on his knees he stared at Henry with a forlorn look, and held a hand out to look at the GPS now. 

“For someone who fights me so hard about new technology, you sure get distracted with it easily.” Henry was chuckling, reaching over to hand the device to Abraham, then rest his hand on the man’s knee, patting it lightly. “It works rather nicely. Give it a try later but don’t let it drive you out into the harbor.” 

“I know that ‘turn left now’ doesn’t mean literally turn left that instant.” He teased back, fingers poking at the device. It was pointless to play with now, as he was in the house, but, maybe he would admit it was pretty interesting. Later. 

“That brings me to these!” henry said with a bit of his own childish smile. He pulled out a pair of phone, his already out of the box, Abraham’s still in it. He sat the small box down in his lap and grinned. “New model.” 

“What?” Abraham frowned at the box, a sinking dread hitting his belly. “No! No, not another one. I only just got used to the last one!” Phones were so much harder to get used to then computers were! Phones were ever changing, even while you owned it. The damn phone tries to change itself! 

“You broke the screen on the last one. I figured it was time to upgrade anyhow.” Henry said while running a cool finger over the screen of his phone.

“It still works.” Abe said almost in a pout like voice, his hands playing over the box of the new smart phone. 

“You can barely read the screen to type. There are actual fractures running through it.”

“It was in my pants pocket the other night. I guess I took a pretty good hit in that fight.” The taller man frowned remembering the direct blow to the hip he took that night. He heard the sound and knew what it was. Never leave your keys in the same pocket as your phone, no matter how swiftly a fight breaks out. 

“Beside… That’s what the keyboard thing… is for. Typing. I can handle typing. I liked typing. Typewriters were good inventions. Computers don’t have that satisfying ding at the end of a line, nor the weight of the keys.” 

Henry’d heard all the complaints before… he rolled his eyes in a good humored manner and asked, amused, “Do you even know where your old one is?”

“Yes! Yes it’s… um…” He pat his chest down, frowning. Oh, he left it there about forty minutes ago, didn’t he? “I left it someplace I would hear it if you called.” He stated, still feeling over places. Not in his pockets, not on the couch seat. He slide his hand back into the couch seats, purposely starting behind Henry’s back (be it to grab a feel or just to be a pushy brat) and along the inside edge. He yanked it out with a bit of a smug triumphant grin when his fingers pulled the blue device out. “See?” 

“All I see was a bad attempt of copping a feel. You could have just asked.” Henry laughed as he reached out to take the long suffering cell phone with one hand and to take hold of Abraham’s chin with the other, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his lips before drawing back away from his lover and with the broken phone. “This is old anyhow. Your new one will be easier.” 

Abe looked mildly annoyed that either his phone got swiped like so or the kiss was only a short one. It was hard to tell. “Just because it is newer doesn’t make it easier. I’m never going to use all those bells and whistles anyhow.” 

“Never say ‘never’, Mr. President. Now open up your phone. It’s already set up and charged.” Henry encouraged, pushing the box back to Abe once more. He tucked the old phone away in a pocket and waited for the younger vampire to open the box up. Inside was a thin black phone with a red, white and blue ribbon around it. He chuckled at the dirty look Abe gave him for that. All in good humor. 

“If it whistles the Star Spangled Banner again I’m throwing it at you. With force.” Abe said, carefully looking it over. There was a slide out keyboard, which he liked and could manage. Flipping it on he let it load only to raise a brow, very slowly. “You’re a horrible being, Henry Sturges.” The face of President Lincoln from the five dollar bill is the interactive background. It’s wearing slatted white shades and a large money sign necklace in studded gold. 

Henry let out an unbridled laugh, leaning back in the couch but watching Abe carefully as he pulled his phone out and started to poke at it. “Wait, let me call you. Wait until you hear it ring. Your mouth moves in time with the lyrics!” 

“Don’t bother!” Abraham grumbled as he shoved his bare foot out into Henry’s hip. “Stop it!” his fingers already trying to find the volume or the off button, but he didn’t know this device yet. When he noticed Henry was still dialing he moved, jumping to his knees in a blink, on the couch, diving over Henry, hands swooping in swiftly for the phone. 

Not fast enough however as Henry was faster, moving his hands up. Abraham ended up crashing into him and a small game of keep away began, like children. In the end Abe happened to get a lucky break, his fingers slipping under the phone and ejecting it from Henry’s hand, unfinished in the new number he was punching in. The little red phone darted through the air and hit the floor, bouncing a few times before sliding to a stop. 

“Ha! Got it!” Abe let out a yelp of amused surprise looking down at the man. The moment the phone was gone the struggle stopped, so he looped his hands around and penned Henry’s hands back to the couch, leaning hard into them. He was already sitting over the man’s lap, one leg twisted under to lock Henry’s down. They were in an awkward position on the couch but Abe was going to hold this moments triumph a bit longer. 

“Was that really necessary?” Henry asked with a small chuckle, looking up at the other. 

“No, neither is this though.” He said, leaning down to kiss Henry, firmly on the mouth. His hands curled around the others wrists a bit tightly, feeling Henry try to pull one free and stop. Abe knew better but it was fun to think he had come out on top once in a while. 

The kiss lasted a while, pushy, lingering and a little bit hungry. As things started to trail don Henry’s neck, soft kisses left behind, Henry spoke again. “But did you have to knock it to the ground? You could have broken it.” 

“Oh! For god’s sake, Henry!” Abe protested, letting go of the man’s hands, sitting up and resting them on his chest, pushing down a bit in mild annoyance. “Lay off the phone!” But that was Abe’s mistake and the reason he found the world turning and himself falling.

He was pushed off his high place and knocked to the ground, Henry scrambling to climb on top, lock Abe’s leg down and pen his hands up over his head. A sly, dark grin playing over the older, stronger vampires face. “You’re so easily distracted. Still.” He teased, leaning in to pick up where the kisses left off. Only this time they were on the hard floor and not the soft couch. Thus Henry wins, again. 

To make matters worse, after a moment Henry’s hand covers both Abe’s hands while the free one roams down the man’s body, trailing over the man’s neck, his chest and belly; a teasing trail of light brushing nails that disappears from Abe’s body a moment later. In Abrahams mind he expected a touch again soon. Something a bit more intimate and closer to home. It wasn’t like they didn’t do this stuff all the time now anyhow. But no touch came. Just more kissing; deep, passionate and a bit sloppy. 

Oh and the sound of his new cell phone going off. Singing a chunk of music from Merlyn Monroe singing to JFK, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” Abraham let out a deep groan, and it wasn’t the aroused kind. Henry drew back from the kiss and looked down at his trapped vampire mate with a slick and knowing smile, his cell phone in his off hand, held out to the side. 

Abraham’s head picked up and knocked back a few times as he closed his eyes. “No, no, no! Don’t tell me it’s almost February already?!” 

“Alright. I won’t.” But the tone made it clear that it was. 

The two of them never really celebrated birthdays. They after all, were long since dead, so there was no point. Oh sure, an important one here or there but not every year. Besides, enough people celebrated one of their birthday’s so well that he never wanted to see another birthday again as long as he didn’t live. “It seems like only yesterday!” 

“A breath of time, I assure you. Which leads me to my last gift.” Henry let the man’s hands go, sitting up on his hips and looking down at him. “I booked two tickets to Europe for the next few months. I thought if you like we can make it a yearly thing. Fly out ever February? Explore a bit before returning.” 

“Oh, I do love you sometimes.” Abe said up with a fond smile, then a slight nod. “We haven’t been there for a while.” 

Henry looked down smartly, then held up the phone, proudly. “Thus the new phones. They’re international.” He kissed the ex-president’s nose, bopped it once with a finger, and got up, walking off through the house, humming the Happy Birthday song and flicking through his new phone, smiling like a devil. Well, that was fun. 

Abraham was left with a bag full of devices, a half dead computer, and a cell phone with an ugly background. He shifted, bare feet curling together, toe to toe, and his back pressed to the couch, smiling as he twiddled through the phone. 

For someone who hated new devices and would rather return to a land line or a typewriter, he sure did like messing with new technology.


End file.
